Sunshine & Sustainable Living

Packing Up & Leaving | Colorado 2016 | Post 2

Packing Up & Leaving

6/2/2016

Picture

Kansas Countryside

So here I am. Once again in the back of Syd the Sub, sipping on ginger kombucha, and looking out the window at the (basically uncharted territory) Kansas countryside. I feel like we are driving- less dramatically- through the opening scenes of Interstellar, with the open fields and miles of visibility. It is pretty, but with the lack of cell signal, breaking down out here would not be ideal (it would be the talk of town though I’m sure). About an hour ago, we hit a tiny town with probably 10 houses. After getting gas and inquiring about places to eat, we found ourselves in a little country dinner with a run down sign outside reading “Special of the Day: Beef Meat Loaf Sand”. Yes we ate there. No, the food was not five star. Anyways, the landscape surrounding us makes for some nice pictures and we are doing great.

This morning as I was eating pineapple at the hotel’s free continental breakfast (you can imagine how blessed my heart was), I got thinking how easy it is for me to “pack up and leave”. I don’t really form attachments to places and I adjust to new environments, new situations, new people, pretty well. Now, that sounds like I’m bragging- I promise I am not. There are some pretty embarrassing things that I do not do “pretty well”. Giving directions/ following directions while driving is the first that comes to mind. Ask any friend, family member, acquaintance and they’ll probably have a story for you. I have lived up to the color of my hair pretty well… Anyways, why have I been able to “pack up and leave” so well when for so many people, adjusting to a new environment is an emotionally taxing and scary thing?

Answer no. 1 is featured by my Myers Briggs obsession. I am a “T”- and for those of you who are wondering what that means, it means I am a thinker as opposed to a feeler. I am the one who, in situations bases my actions and thoughts on facts (not a feeling) and will never settle for “everything will be ok”. I think that for me, viewing my surroundings as a thinker allows me to not become emotionally attached to things. I am able to step into a new environment and view what it takes to adjust objectively, seeking full understanding and seeking out answers to my questions. Basically, sometimes I feel unemotional (yah yah, if you’re “unemotional” than you can’t feel, but that is how I feel sometimes so roll with it).

Answer no. 2 is a bit lengthily, but stick with me… I don’t really believe in predestination, but I believe that God puts opportunities in our lives for a reason and it is our job to seize the moment, gain everything we can from it, and know that it will affect our futures in some way. God doesn’t have a road map for my life, I have free will, but I think that everything leading up to this point in my life has prepared me and shaped me into who I am too perfectly to believe that God didn’t have his hand in it.

Most of you know I am from a teeny town in Northern, NY. I am related to 3/4 of the people in the county and I was homeschool for most of my life. With just that knowledge you could safely assume I was pretty sheltered. You would be wrong. My parents took good care of me, but I was far from your average small town country girl. By the time I was 3, I had been to Alaska 3 times. And by the time I was 10, my family had moved 3 times. My dad went cool places all the time and going on planes or sitting in the car for long hours was not foreign in any way. I had seen areas of the country that many of my friends only read about in their geography books. The negative to this was that I formed a presupposition that my family wouldn’t stay in one place for more than 4 years. I loved school, I loved friends, but I had gotten pretty used to the idea of places and people being only “temporary”. I know that sounds pretty negative and terrible (and I’m not gonna lie, sometimes it was), but for the most part I really loved my life. After the move to Northern, NY when I was 10, we didn’t move again. There was once talk of moving to Europe, but nothing ever came of it.

Now that you know all about my childhood, I will attempt to make my point… While I was really good at letting go of things, I learned how to cling on to what I loved with dear life. My family, friends I cared about, my art and music- they were never gone just because we were separated by distance. Relationships are dictated by more than a place or something physical. This mindset is what made dating a guy who lived 4 hours away during our first year together successful. And it’s what makes my memories of freshman year tear-less. Now, it’s what is making this trip exciting and not scary.

So perhaps now, as I’m beginning my adventure- in a state I have never been, people I have never met, and totally on my own, I am not fearful. I think my childhood of “packing up and leaving” has prepared me for this. Every time God gave my dad the opportunity to take a new job and he took it, it was, in essence, preparing me for this moment.

I’m a pretty reflective person- not really in a sentimental, touchy-feely way (as I mentioned, I am a T), I’m just always thinking and having thoughts. As you can imagine, having these thoughts-over a cup of coffee and paper cup filled with pineapple this morning really did bless my heart.

-Ella

1) kansas rest stop 2) kansas countryside 3) a peak out my window 4) kansas countryside II 5) first views of colorado 6) driving into colorado springs.


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